19 Thoughts While Reading Girl Online by Zoe Sugg | Review

1) For a blogger, Penny doesn't seem to grasp onto the idea of a) not using run-ons in her narrative or b) how annoying consecutive (and constant!) exclamation points are! (Tell me how you are frustrated or embarassed or excited! Don't just shout at me! Okay?!) (See, it's annoying.)

2) If she's in year eleven how old is she? Sixteen?--I'm not British, so my extent of knowledge regarding "year x" extends to Harry Potter, which only goes to seven.

3) I do, however, know how to use commas and opening quotation marks. This is the fifteenth printing of this book. It should have been fixed by now.

4) Let's count how many times Penny has narrated the words "Downton Abbey" in the last twenty pages. -- Update: it's too many to count.

5) Megan is horrible. Everyone (minus older brother Tom) is the actual worst.

6) "According to Elliot" there are over seven billion people on Earth?! According to Elliot?! Girl, you must live under an actual rock (which you don't because you run a "widely popular" blog) if you didn't know there were over seven billion people on this planet. God. She's so stupid.

7) Sidenote: there is no way this blog has "thousands of subscribers" for the quality she puts out. No. Way.

8) Also, I wish I had counted how many times I read "according to Elliot" in this book. It's like homegirl doesn't know how to Google search anything.

9) The only reason I haven't DNF'd this book is because I bought the second one. TBH.

10) This is basically just an AU story of Zalfie, which is honestly the only reason I have remotely enjoyed this book. Despite Noah being slightly insufferable, the romance--while incredibly juvenile and 100% insta-love--is the only part of this book I've enjoyed.

11) Despite what you might think from the cover--and the very limited and inaccurate descriptions of the weather--this book actually takes place during Christmas.

12) Do harvest moons not happen in the UK? Or is this just Penny living under an actual rock again?

13) HOW CONVENIENT. *hardcore sighing*

14) Please make up more "_____-tastic" words. I'm really enjoying it. (Please note the sarcasm.)

15) #TFIOS spoilers

16) It's like they didn't even want to make any of these characters remotely realistic. Elliot is the persona of a "Gay Best Friend" that is totally into glitter and fashion. He also seems to suffer from some form of bipolar disorder and is completely passive aggressive. Then there's Megan--the mean girl with her two lackeys--and Ollie--the popular guy that the mean girl is totally into and he's totally oblivious to everything.

17) "We can cry in front of each other, SO CLEARLY WE ARE SOULMATES. NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE." - paraphrase of Penny's narrative the last half of this book

18) "I HATE YOU." "LET'S MAKE UP." "OKAY." - Penny and Elliot's very unhealthy friendship wherein they deliberately refuse to talk about their problems. Talking about your issues will bring you closer in a healthier way. I promise.

19) BLEH.

Hopefully the second one will be better?

(Also, for a book entitled "Girl Online" I thought there would be a lot more about Penny and her blog, rather than the "inserts" of her blog posts.)

(Upon writing this post, I have just know figured out that this girl's name is "Penny Shoelace". Really? Really?!)

Girl Online by Zoe Sugg (Girl Online #1)
Published: 25 November 2014 by Atria / Keywords Press
Format - Pages: Hardcover - 346
Source: Target
Genre: YA Contemporary, Romance
From YouTube sensation Zoella comes a debut coming-of-age novel that perfectly captures what it means to grow up and fall in love in today’s digital world. Girl Online is the first book to be published by Keywords Press, an imprint under Simon & Schuster dedicated to today’s digital stars.

I have this dream that, secretly, all teenage girls feel exactly like me. And maybe one day, when we realize that we all feel the same, we can all stop pretending we’re something we’re not. That would be awesome. But until that day, I’m going to keep it real on this blog and keep it unreal in “real” life.

Penny has a secret.

Under the alias GirlOnline, Penny blogs her hidden feelings about friendship, boys, high school drama, her quirky family, and the panic attacks that have begun to take over her life. When things go from bad to worse at school, her parents accept an opportunity to whisk the family away for Christmas at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. There, she meets Noah, a gorgeous, guitar-strumming American. Suddenly Penny is falling in love—and capturing every moment she spends with “Brooklyn Boy” on her blog.

But Noah has a secret, too, one that threatens to ruin Penny’s cover—and her closest friendship—forever.

Award-winning and influential YouTube vlogger Zoe Sugg delivers a heartfelt coming-of-age novel that perfectly captures the highs and lows of first love, friendship, and growing up in the digital age.
Do you watch Zoe's videos? Have you read this book? If so, what did you think? (Let's keep the discussion about the book, and not about the ghostwriting. Thank you.)


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